How old is too old to … well, you know …

How old is an old person? I’m not sure (although Ohio State University seems to have a strong opinion). It’s got some range to it, certainly. For instance, at the upper end, “old” is at least somewhat younger than “dead”, yet at the lower end, “dead” might be younger than “old”. What to do? Well, if you really want to generate some strong opinions, modify the question and ask, “When is a man too old for sex?” Here are categories of people with whom I’ve discussed the subject, and who have widely varied opinions (guess what they are):**

1. the man himself
2. the man himself, if he is a Cajun musician
3. the man’s wife, if she’s never had orgasms
4. the man’s wife, if she’s always had orgasms
5. the man’s fiancee, if he’s wealthy and she’s younger, with a boyfriend
6. the man’s fiancee if he’s a pauper, their age is similar, and they’re in love
7. the daughters of a widower whose marriage lasted 40 years
8. the sons of a widower whose marriage lasted 40 years
9. a feminist of any age, once she discovers the feds will pay to make it possible for every man on Medicare, but won’t pay for her mother’s eyeglasses
10. fanatically religious men
11. fanatically religious wives
12. some others I’ll probably think of as this goes along

** Hint: all the opinions given by the men are the same; the ones given by the women vary

If you said, “Men don’t ever think they are too old for sex, cha-ching! Same for #’s 4, 6, 8. For #’s 3, 5, 7, 9, and 11: “He’s already too old.” 

Why is this an important question? Because, with the appropriate help, men of any age are capable of having sexual intercourse. Once they find that out, they want to make it happen.

How do I know this? For 28 years at the Sexual Medicine Center, I spent virtually all my time making men physically capable of having penetrant sex. Note I did not say, ” … make it possible to have sex.” Most of the men alive today who are physically capable of having sex aren’t maxing out (if they’re “getting any” at all): it’s a team sport. I didn’t do pimping.

The age range I treated: youngest – 16; oldest – 92. The treatments:

• reassurance and a pat on the back
• oral phosphodiesterase inhibitors
• injectable alprostadil
• vacuum/constrictor devices (VCD’s)
• “cock rings”
• surgically implanted penile prostheses (penile implants)

In the next post, I’ll discuss these options. I’m retired, I’m not selling anything, I give it to you “straight” (a little sex med humor there).